Written & Reviewed by
Gaston Molina
Published on
September 15, 2023


Witnessing a 7-year-old child hitting themselves when upset can be distressing for parents and caregivers. This behavior can raise concerns about the child’s emotional well-being and may leave adults feeling unsure about how to help. In this article, we’ll explore the reasons behind this behavior and offer practical strategies for parents and caregivers to support their child effectively.

Understanding the Behavior

Hitting oneself when upset is a behaviour that can be caused by a combination of emotional, cognitive, and social factors. It’s crucial to approach this behaviour with empathy and a desire to understand what might be driving it:

  1. Limited Emotional Expression: At 7 years old, a child may still be developing their emotional regulation skills. When they feel overwhelmed, frustrated, or upset, they may struggle to express these emotions in a healthy way.
  2. Difficulty in Coping with Stress: As children grow, they encounter new challenges and stressors. Coping mechanisms, including emotional regulation, are still developing. When faced with a particularly challenging situation, a child may resort to hitting themselves as a way to cope.
  3. Seeking Attention or Communication: Hitting oneself can sometimes be a way for a child to communicate their distress to others. They may not have the words to express what they’re feeling, so they resort to this physical act to get attention.
  4. Imitation or Learned Behavior: A child may have observed similar behaviour in peers, older siblings, or even in media. They might be imitating what they’ve seen as a way to handle their emotions.
  5. Sensory Needs: Some children have sensory processing differences that can affect how they process and respond to emotions. Hitting themselves may provide sensory feedback that helps them regulate their emotions.

When to Seek Help

While occasional hitting when upset may not be cause for immediate concern, there are situations where it’s important to seek professional guidance:

  1. Frequency and Intensity: If the behavior occurs frequently or escalates in intensity, it’s a sign that the child may be struggling to cope with their emotions.
  2. Signs of Self-Harm: If hitting themselves leads to visible injury or shows signs of becoming a self-harming behavior, immediate intervention is necessary.
  3. Interference with Daily Functioning: If hitting themselves significantly interferes with the child’s daily life, including school performance or social interactions, it’s time to seek professional help.
  4. Regression in Development: If the behavior represents a regression in emotional development or a significant change from previous behavior, it’s a cause for concern.

Strategies for Supporting a 7-Year-Old Child

  1. Stay Calm and Reassure: When you witness your child hitting themselves, it’s important to remain calm. Reassure them that you are there to help and support them.
  2. Provide Alternative Coping Mechanisms: Teach your child alternative ways to cope with strong emotions. This might include deep breathing exercises, drawing, or engaging in physical activities like jumping on a trampoline.
  3. Encourage Open Communication: Create a safe and open space for your child to talk about their feelings. Encourage them to express what’s bothering them, and listen without judgment.
  4. Teach Emotional Language: Help your child develop a vocabulary for their emotions. Use descriptive words to label feelings and ask them to do the same.
  5. Establish Predictable Routines: Consistent routines can provide a sense of stability and predictability, which can help a child feel more secure.
  6. Limit Exposure to Stressors: Identify and minimize sources of stress in your child’s environment, if possible. This may include reducing exposure to certain activities, media, or social situations that seem to trigger their distress.
  7. Seek Professional Guidance: If the behavior continues despite your efforts, or if it escalates in intensity, consider consulting a pediatrician, child psychologist, or therapist who specializes in child behavior.


A 7-year-old child hitting themselves when upset is a behavior that warrants understanding, empathy, and appropriate intervention. By recognizing the potential causes and responding with patience and support, parents and caregivers can help their children develop healthier ways to cope with emotions. It’s crucial to seek professional guidance if the behaviour becomes concerning or if it interferes with the child’s daily functioning. Remember, you are not alone, and seeking help is a sign of strength and commitment to your child’s well-being.

Was this helpful?

Not Helpful
Very Helpful

Was this helpful?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

verified therapists graphic

300+ Verified Therapist from around the globe

  • BACP, UKPC, NIMH verified
  • Vetted credentials from global associations
  • Completed 10,000+ hours of therapy
Get Matched
Get Match with a therapist

Post link copied to clipboard

Add to cart
Speak to an Expert

Get an Exclusive Discount by Requesting a Call Back from our Therapist Matching Experts today!