my son struggles to make friends

Gaston Molina

Medically Reviewed by Gaston Molina, Clinical Psychologist & Therapist

My Son Struggles to Make Friends: Understanding and Supporting Social Development

my son struggles to make friends


As parents, it is natural to feel concerned when we notice our children facing challenges, especially in social situations. One common concern is when a child struggles to make friends. In this article, we will explore the reasons behind this difficulty and offer practical tips to support your son in developing meaningful friendships.

Understanding the Challenge

Many children go through phases where they find it difficult to connect with their peers. It’s important to remember that this is a common aspect of growing up, and there may be several underlying factors contributing to this struggle. Here are some potential reasons:

  1. Shyness or Social Anxiety: Some children are naturally introverted or experience social anxiety, making it harder for them to initiate or sustain friendships.
  2. Lack of Social Skills: Building and maintaining friendships requires a set of social skills, such as active listening, empathy, and effective communication. If a child lacks these skills, they may find it challenging to form connections.
  3. Interest and Activities: Sometimes, children struggle to find common ground with their peers due to differing interests or hobbies.
  4. Bullying or Teasing: Negative experiences with peers, such as bullying or teasing, can significantly impact a child’s confidence and willingness to engage with others.
  5. Developmental Factors: Developmental disorders or delays can affect a child’s social interactions. Seeking professional guidance in such cases is crucial.

Supporting Your Son

Encourage Open Communication

Create a safe and non-judgmental space for your son to express his feelings. Ask open-ended questions and listen actively. Understanding his perspective can provide valuable insights into his struggles.

Foster Social Skills

Help your son develop essential social skills through role-playing, games, and structured activities. Teach him the importance of sharing, taking turns, and showing empathy.

Explore Shared Interests

Encourage activities that align with your son’s interests. This could involve joining clubs, sports teams, or attending workshops related to his hobbies.

Arrange Playdates or Group Activities

Organize opportunities for your son to interact with peers in a controlled and comfortable setting. Keep the initial gatherings small and gradually increase the group size as he becomes more comfortable.

Model Social Behavior

Children often learn by example. Demonstrate positive social interactions in your own relationships and offer guidance on how to approach different social situations.

Address Bullying or Teasing

If your son has experienced negative interactions with peers, address the issue promptly. Work with his school and teachers to create a safe environment, and teach him strategies for dealing with such situations.

Seek Professional Guidance

If you suspect that there may be underlying developmental or emotional issues contributing to your son’s struggle, consider seeking the advice of a paediatrician, therapist, or counsellor.

Celebrate Small Victories

Acknowledge and celebrate your son’s efforts in social situations, even if they are small steps forward. This positive reinforcement can boost his confidence and motivation to continue trying.


It is not uncommon for children to face challenges when it comes to making friends. By understanding the potential reasons behind their struggles and implementing supportive strategies, we can help them develop the social skills and confidence needed to form meaningful connections. Remember, every child is unique, and progress may take time. With patience, encouragement, and a loving approach, you can provide your son with the tools he needs to navigate the complexities of social relationships.

Gaston Molina
Medically Reviewed by Gaston Molina, Clinical Psychologist & Therapist

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